Washington DC—City Council unanimously voted 13-0 to rename the DC Blue Plains Water Treatment Facility in honor of President Donald Trump. An amendment to the bill also calls for installation of a giant golden throne in his honor. The vote came late on Monday night after most administrators had left for the day. The bill was to be forwarded to Mayor Muriel Bowser’s desk for approval on April 1. But Mayor Bowser had already approved it before the DC Council did, in keeping with the DC Government’s new policy of anticipatory obedience.
Blue Plains administrator Richard Pugh said the water treatment facility was the largest and most modern in the world and it was befitting to name it after someone who was larger than life.
“Naturally there was only one person we could think of to bestow this honor so we had to pick someone who has made a big improvement on the lives of so many in the Nation’s Capital and that was Donald Trump.”
Whenever Donald Trump comes to visit his facility he’ll have his own golden throne he can pause on,” said Pugh. “That’s a good thing. We want him to be comfortable and feel right at home.” Pugh also remarked the ribbon cutting ceremony for the rebrand is being planned in a few days once the throne is installed.
Plans are underway to build the throne in a conspicuous place where everyone can see him when he comes by. The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum of Art of Yew York City has provided detailed artwork on how the throne will look once construction is finished, he noted. The golden throne is not anything like those thrones you’d typically see in other monarchies,” said Pugh. This throne is very classy and will be 24 carat gold not the watered down 18 carat gold previously used at the Guggenheim Museum.
“It has to be solid gold because Donald really likes golden things. You know he has added a royal finish throughout the White House with golden curtains, upholstery, and gold on the ceilings. There’s even gold in the Oval Office with a lot of golden vases and eagle figures.”
The New Trump Water Treatment facility will process over 370 million gallons of water per day (mgd)—it really clears up the waste water coming from DC just like President Trump has cleared up a lot of government of its waste and eliminated slacker bureaucracy. “He’s done away with a lot of unwanted and unnecessary things in DC and we want to honor him for it,” said Pugh.
An earlier amendment to replace the tar at the Blue Plains Water Treatment Facility with yellow bricks spelling Trump’s name was tabled because of Federal worker cutbacks.. It would have been visible from space. When asked about the Blue Plains rebrand White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was at a loss for words for the first time ever.
